CULLENZ VZ: ONE NIGHT TWO TEAMS MANY DISASTERS
by XCarlie.CullenX
Summary: CULLEN BOYS VZ CULLEN GIRLS. TRICKS TRAPS AND TRIALS. EVERYTHING GOES. KIDNAPPING, WEREWOLVES AND DARES!EVEN SOME VERY GAY OUTCOMES! Nothing to serious all for fun! PLEASE R&R! :D
1. 19:00

This story is taking place sometime after Eclipse. It's fun to write so nothing is taken seriously!! It's a comedy!

ALL CREDIT TO STEPHENIE MEYER.

HER CHARACTERS.

HER STORYS

INSPIRED THIS ONE:

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**19:00**

Esme and Carlisle are on Isle Emse for their anniversary and have left Emmet, Jasper, Edward, Alice, Rose and Bella in charge of the Cullen house. The boys though a boy's night was on the cards until the girls decided to have their own girls night in and boys didn't want to miss the lingerie show. So whilst the girls fluttered around upstairs, the boys got bored after Jasper thrashed them at the PlayStation and played a little trick on the girls, replacing nail vanish with super glue and hair spray with toilet cleaner much to their amusement the girls reacted like a grizzly bears and have now gone out on full on war with the boys. There a 2 teams, the girl and the boys, the rules THERE ARE NO RULES. Everything goes and one team will surrender before dawn. The winning team will get the losing teams cars, ALL OF THEM.

**_Time: 19:00_**

**_Position: Head quarters (Cullen house, the attic)_**

**_Team: Girls._**

**_Mission: Revenge._**

Rose: "The boy's will pay, I'll tear Emmet another one if I catch him tonight"

Alice: "Calm yourself Rose, we will get revenge and we will win!! Any ideas?"

Rose: "No can you see anything?"

Alice: "They're trying not to decide but it looks like they gonna try our weakest member"

Bella: "Awww I don't like this, do I really have to play."

Alice and Rose: "Yes!!"

Alice: "What does the boys most love most in this world other than us?"

Rose: "Sex"

Alice: "Seduce and abuse them? Yes! Divide and conquer, mmm"

Bella: "What are you thinking? "

Alice: "Follow me girls... "

_**Time: 19:00**_

_**Position: Head Quarters (Cullen house, the basement)**_

_**Team: Boys**_

_**Mission: Avoid girls wrath.**_

Jasper: "Man Alice is going to kill me"

Emmet: "What are you a man or a mouse? Please Alice is a pussy cat to the tiger Rose is"

Jasper: "Can you here anything?"

Edward "They're trying not to think of their plans and Rose is thinking about slapping a sex ban on Emmet. They've moved they're now in Alice's room, changing."

Emmet: "Alice's room? Changing? maybe they've forgiven us and are carrying on with their girlie night"

Jasper "Wish full thinking, now think of a plan. What could they possibly do and what could we do to prevent that from happening?"

Emmet: " Take the human out."

Edward: "You even so much as lay one finger on Bella and I will.."

Emmet: "Jeez chill out, talk about team player. Me and Jazz here are thinking of ways to silence our wives and your ready to switch side to protect your girlfriend. Damn you're whipped Eddie boy"

Jasper: "Shh quit it, can you hear that?"

*Muse Super-massive black hole is blasting from the living room*

Edward: "I don't believe it."

Emmet: "What, what is it?"

Edward: "Our respective other halves are up stairs waiting for us"

Emmet: "Should we go?"

Jasper: "It couldn't hurt? could it?"

Edward: "You'll see"

The boys warily sulk upstairs to to living room to find Alice in a school girls outfit sitting on the sofa, Rosalie in a long flowing red dress that clings to tightly to her body standing at the door and Bella in a black silk undergarment sitting at the piano. All tree boys mouths are wide open.

Emmet: "Rose? Baby..."

Rose: "You like? "

Emmet "That's an understatement"

Rose pulls Emmet to the kitchen.....

Jasper: "Alice, I don't understand how?, why? I thought you were planning on revenge"

Alice "We got bored.."

Alice pulled Jasper into a passionate kiss before any more questions passed his lips and tugged him towards the kitchen....

Edward: "Bella"

Bella: " It was Alice and Rose idea. I look stupid.

Edward " Stupid, you don't look stupid *Edwards mouth is still wide open and eyes bluging" you look.."

Bella "Edward *she walks towards him and puts her arms around him* I'm still mad you know"

Edward "I know, It was em..."*she kisses him and leads him to the kitchen...*

Edward "Whats going on?"

He sees Jasper and Emmet tied up with steal chains and gaged.

Bella: "Payback baby"

Alice and Rose spring on Edward and ties him up to the other two. All 3 boys are momentarily disabled. They take the gags off them.

Rose: Stay those magic words and you're free to go.

Emmet: "Never!"

Alice: "We'll I guess its onto round two"

Rose: "Catch us.. if you can"

Edward: "Bella.."

Alice: "She's a Cullen girl, expect no mercy Edward."

The girl's leave not before they servery disable the boys cars and speed of towards La Push Boarders for round two.

_**DO YOU LIKE?? HAHA!! PLEASE LET ME KNOW! IDEAS ARE REALLY!! WELCOME!! IF YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO ADD ONE OF YOUR IDEAS TO THE STORY LET ME KNOW :D:D**_

_**FANKOO XX**_


	2. 19:37

**Thank you for your reviews!!! hope you like:**

**ALL CRED TO STEPHENIE MEYER!!**

**Chapter 2**

**19:37**

**_Time: 19:37_**

**_Position: The Cullen's kitchen_**

**_Team: Boys_**

**_Mission: Get the damn girls_**

Jasper: "Edward how could you of not heard what they planned to do?"

Emmet:" He was to busy ogling the human"

Edward: "How come you Emmet couldn't take Rose out"

Emmet "Did you see that dress, hell I had a hard time walking. So Jasper you like school girls eh?"

Jasper: "Shut up Emmet and use the strength you claim you have to break us free, I got a feeling tonight's just going to get a whole lot worse. Edward any ideas whats to come?"

Edward "I caught La Push from Rose and Alliance from Alice"

Emmet "They can't do that! That's cheating! Running to the wolves those.."*Emmet starts laughing evilly and Edward joins in*

Jasper: "What?"

Edward: "Bella may of had me just now but her Wolfy alliance was with Jacob and hes gone. I still have Seth" *all three boys start laughing*

Emmet:" We need to get there beofe them and they have a 5 minute head start"

Jasper: "We may not be physically there but.."*Looks at the phone*

Edward: "Good Idea, now lets get to the phone"

All 3 struggle against the chains and move in opposite directions, pulling all their weight and strength the chains shatter and break almost every window surrounding them. The shattered glass spewed around all 3 stunned vampire.

Emmet: "Good thing the humans not here, damn it Esme's gonna kill us"

Edward: "Stop calling her that."

Emmet: "Oh I'm sorry, Okay good thing Miss. Isabella Swan/Cullen aint here"

Jasper: "I believe I saw the girls break the windows and that's what Esme shall think"

Edward "This is war. Hello Seth it's Edward fancy helping me take down a couple vampires?"

**_Time: 19:41_**

**_Position: Quileute border_**

**_Team: Girls_**

**_Mission: Create alliances_**

Bella: "Is this a good idea?"

Alice: "I can't see the future, so yeah I think so"

Rose: "You should call Seth and let him know, it's us coming"

Bella: "Hey Seth, Its Bella We need you're help meet us at the boarder now, thanks"

Alice: "Stupid boys have broken the windows in the kitchen"

Bella: "Though you couldn't see?"

Alice: "I can see the now, but I can see Esme coming home discovering the kitchen and the boys blaming us!"

Rose: "Oh I'll kill Emmet."

Alice: "Look they're waiting for us"

The girls step out of the car and approach Seth, Quil and Embry who are waiting.

Bella: "Hey guys, we need you're help taking Edward, Emmet and Jasper out"

Seth: "Edward? Bella whats happened?"

Bella: "We're playing a game and well we kinda need to.."

Rose: "Rough them up a little."

Quil: "Rough them up? okay I'm game."

Then all 3 phased.

Alice: "Rose can you smell that?"

Rose: "What dog?"

Alice: "Not that type of dog"

Bella: "What are you... Oh great"

Edward, Emmet and Jasper flew out of the tree's and each grabbed their partner then tied them to the surrounding trees.

Emmet: "Rose, baby if I knew you liked tying up, you could of said"

Rose: "Emmet Cullen, if you do not let me go, you won't be seeing our bedroom in a very long time"

Emmet:" You can't resist me" *forces a kiss on Rose's unwilling lips*

Bella: "Are these chains neccessary? on me?"

Edward: "Not really, but I don't have anything else on me, sorry love"

Bella: "Edward I'll close my bedroom window for a month!"

Edward: "Bella honey, do you honestly think I need your bedroom window to get in your house?"

Alice: "Jazz, you forget I know we're going to win, you may as well give up now"

Jasper: "Ali, I'm betting against you".

Rose: "So what you're gonna leave us her and have the pubs to make sure we don't move"

Jasper: "Not exactly..."

Bella: "Then what?"

Emmet: "Would the wolves please take their positions"

All the 3 wolves moved to the girls and jumped up on the trees they were attached to. Each huge dog had their paws their side of the girls head and were face to face with them. Each dog was howling in laughter.

Emmet: "On your marks, get set, go!"

The dogs started rubbing up against the girls like a pet dog wanting attention does and licking their hair and faces. Rose and Alice howled in disgust, Bella laughed.

Emmet: "You know what to say baby"

Alice, Bella and Rose: NEVER!!!!

Jasper: "Good dogs"

Edward: "Thanks for the ride Alice"

The boys hoped into Alice's porshe and sped off too the shopping Mall in Port Angeles ready for round 3 where the stakes are being raised....

**_PLEASE REVIEW!!! THANK YOU!! PRANK IDEAS AND DARE IDEAS WELCOMED!!_**

**_ALSO PLEASE CHECK OUT MY OTHER STORY 'LOVED BY A BEATING HEART' IS A SERIOUS TWILIGHT FANFIC!!_**

**_FANKOO_**

**_XX_**


	3. 20:01

**THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ALL YOU GUYS WHO'S REVEWING AND ADDING ME TO YOUR FAVE LIST!!!!**

**LOVE YOU ALL!!**

**ALL CRED TO STEPHENIE MEYER!**

**Chapter 3**

**20:01**

_**Time: 20:01**_

_**Position: La Push Woods**_

_**Team: Girls**_

_**Mission: Get dog out of my hair.**_

The girls have been tied up by Edward, Emmet and Jasper who have paid the La Push Dog's Seth, Quil and Embry to 'rough' the girls up.

Rose: "Emmet will never be forgiven for this, His Jeep is scrap metal whether we win or not"

Alice: "Hey guys, how much are they paying you?"

The wolves looked at Alice.

Alice: "I'll pay you triple"

The wolves ran into the tree and came back human.

Alice:"Now let us down"

The wolves let the girls down.

Seth: "Sorry Bella, Edward called ahead of you"

Bella: "I kinda guessed"

Rose: "Great, I'll never get dog out of my hair!"

Alice: "There we go" *Alice hands the boys rolls of notes, EACH!

Bella: "Where to now?"

Rose: "A tub of bleach?"

Alice: "To the house, I have an idea or rather Bella's going to have an idea"

Rose: "Good, hopefully where ever we're heading has a lawyer I'm in a mood for a divorce"

Bella:" Edward Is going down"

Alice: "Welcome to the team" *The girls high 5*

Bella: "How we going to get home?"

Alice laughing picks Bella up and runs to the house. The house is a war zone. The kitchen it's fatal victim. Written in tomato sauce across the walls is "Gone out, Be back soon"

Rose: "what the....?"

Alice: "They're at the Mall in Port Angeles buying supplies"

Bella: "Supplies being?"

Alice: "Tape, spray paint, a teaser and alcohol?"

Rose: "Alcohol? Why?"

Bella: "I have an idea......."

**_Time: 20:15_**

**_Position: The Mall, Port Angeles_**

**_Team: Boys_**

**_Mission: SHOW ME THE MONEY._**

Edward: "Please tell me that isn't vodka"

Emmet: "No it's water"

Edward: "I AM NOT GETTING BELLA DRUNK"

Emmet: "Okay okay, I will.

Edward: "Don't you even.."

Jasper: "Hey guys, it's kinda strange the girls aint here? Edward can you hear them?"

Edward: "No, maybe they still have paid the dogs off yet"

Jasper: "Let's head for the car, we are going to win tonight"

The boys hop into the car and start to drive home.

Edward: "Slow down, cops ahead"

Jasper: "I don't like this silence"

Emmet: "I do, Rose is going to kill me"

Jasper: "It's the calm before the storm"

In the background the cops lights are flashing and sirens bleeping.

Emmet:"We weren't speeding !"

Jasper: "I can ask what's the problem officer?"

Cop: "Are you Jasper Hale?"

Edward: "The storms here."

Cop: "Are you're passengers Edward and Emmet Cullen?"

Jasper: "Yes"

Cop: " I'm arresting you on suspicion of kidnap, stealing a car and under age drinking"

Jasper: "Underage drinking?"

Cop: "Are you telling me that's water?" *He points to the Vodka bottle by Emmet*

All 3 boys have been bundled into the back of the cop car and cuffed for effect. The cop stops at a dounut shop.

Emmet: "I'm going to kill those girls"

Jasper: "I don't wanna kill them just yet, we need them to bail us out"

Edward: "We are so dead if Carlisle and Esme find out"

Emmet: "This is going to be my 9th mugshot, oh man"

Jasper: "I wounder who's idea this is?"

Edward: "I was Bella's"

Jasper and Emmet: "WHAT?"

Edward: "I can hear Alice, she's gloating. All three are at the police station ready to ID us."

Emmet: "Gotta say you're girls got game, 100% a Cullen"

The cop returns and hauls the boys to the station, where they are strip searched for possible offensive wepons their victims saw and then slung into a cell.

Emmet: "I'm telling you, that man who searched me really enjoyed doing it"

Edward: "He did, plus Rose paid him to feel a little more than he should ,my head almost exploded"

Jasper: "I didn't need to know that!"

Cop: "Emmet your ex-wife is here to see you"

Emmet: "Ex-wife, damn this must be bad"

Rosalie: "hey honey, Hows Jail? you should be used to it now what is it now the 10th time?"

Emmet: "9th actually"

Rosalie: "We'll see the nights still young"

Bella and Alice walk into the holding room.

Alice: "The bars suit you Jazz"

Jasper: "Are you going to get us out or not?"

Bella: "Not yet, we have an idea"

Edward: "An idea?"

Alice: " More a game, all or nothing................"

_**PLEASE REVIEW!!! YOU'LL MAKE MY DAY AND I'LL CARRY ON WRITING CHAPTERS TILL MY FINGERS BLEED!!**_

_**FANKOO**_

_**XX**_


	4. 20:59

ALL CRED TO MS. STEPHENIE MEYER!!!

**Chapter 4**

**20:49**

The boys were arrested for kidnapping the girls, stealing their car and possessing alcohol underage, well underage according to their drivers licence. The girls went to bail them out bu they had a few ideas of their own...

_**Time: 20:49**_

_**Position: Police Station, near Port Angeles**_

_**Team: Boys**_

_**Mission: Don't become jail bate.**_

All 3 boys are stumbling out of the police office..

Emmet: "What was that? I don't ever want to think about that ever again, understand"

Jasper: "That was strange and educational"

Emmet: "I said I don't EVER want to think/talk/be reminded of tonight"

Edward: "Me either. I actually feel sick.. "

Jasper: "Save it, look at number 13, unlucky for some right?"

FLASHBACK

Bella: " Boy's we've won the battle, but the war is up for grabs. We'll be playing for points. So far it's 2-1 the girls."

Emmet: "Hey we started this fight so it's 2-2"

Belle: "You started before our war was declared, so it don't count"

Jasper: "That's not far"

Alice: " Fair, shmair"

Bella: "Like I was saying, we have our teams and anything goes. We have a list of must do, can do's and illegal probably shouldn't do's. The must do's are a point each and every-time you don't do it you lose a point. The can do's are worth 5 points and you won't be penalized if you don't do anything on that list, the illegal probably shouldn't do's are worth 10 points and if you get caught and put in jail more than twice you have to pay who ever bailed you out double that. Every thing you successfully complete you need to take photographic evidence. Any questions?"

Emmet: "Marry me?"

Edward/Rose :"Emmet!"

Jasper: " where's the list?"

Alice: "Here you go and here's your camera's"

Emmet: "Okay now let us out!

Rose: " Emmet honey, check number 3 on your sheet"

The girls walk out of the doors

Emmet: "Rose, Rose honey? Please come back"

Jasper: "What's number 3, Emmet?

Emmet: "Sexy talk you're way out off a ticket, fine or jail. Vote for one of your team members"

Jasper/Edward: " Emmet!"

Emmet: "Why me?"

Edward: "Because the cop hasn't stopped thinking about your strip search"

Jasper and Edward are on the floor laughing.

Emmet: "laugh it up guys, watch how a real man deals with this situation..."

END OF FLASH BACK.

_**Time: 20:59**_

_**Position: Big Lou's tattoo studio, Port Angeles.**_

_**Team: Girls**_

_**Mission: Tats the way..**_

Rose: "Here we go girls"

Bella: "5 points here we come....."

WHAT YOU THINK??? PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!

FANKOO XX


	5. 21:35

ALL CRED TO STEPHENIE MEYER

thank you all for your reviews and to all those whose put me on their fave lists!! love u!!

**Chapter 5**

**21:35**

_**Time: 21:35**_

_**Position: Outside Big Lou's tattoo studio, Port Angeles**_

_**Team: Girls**_

_**Mission: Stop Bella from passing out**_

The girls have just finished at the tattoo studio and are taking pictures.

Alice: "I think we should sent these to the boys, show them we're serious"

Bella: " yea..."

Rose: "You look kind of green, Bella. Sit Down"

Alice: " She'll be fine. Pictures sent"

Rose: "which task is next?"

Alice: "Number 21, up for it? Bella?"

Bella: "21? me? My dad would kill me if he ever found THAT one out. I can,t pay bail either"

Rose: "Fine, I vote Alice. It's you or me and I say you."

Bella: " Alice got my vote too."

Alice: " Hey girls you wanna see how the boys got out of jail? Rose you will most want to see this before you within a 10 mile radius of Emmet"

All 3 girls look at the picture Edward just sent Alice and fell to the floor laughing. There in Alice's phone was Emmet sitting on a police officers lap kissing his cheek.

Rose: "He's never going to live that one down"

Bella: " Onto task 21, Alice lead the way..."

**_Time: 21:36_**

**_Position: Betty's Beauty Parlour_**

**_Team: boys_**

**_Mission: Pain is pleasure_**.

Edward: "I can't believe you voted for me"

Jasper: "It was you're girlfriends list"

Emmet: "Purlez, if I just lap danced at 50 year old cop, you my brother can do this"

Edward: "You won't believe what Alice just sent me!"

Jasper: "What?"

Edward showed the boys the pictures of the girls and their tattoo's. Task 14 get a tattoo of a sexual position in written in Chinese.

Emmet: "W-O-W. Alice's a wild one ain't she! And Bella, Edward I'd watch out Jacob could really be her thing.

Edward: "Shut up Emmet or you won't be doing that to Rose any time soon"

Jasper: "Nervous?"

Emmet: "If this makes him nervous, You wait until his bachelor party!"

Edward: "I've already told you I'm not having a bachelor party, so get over that now"

Jasper "We'll see"

Girl: "Mr. Cullen? Betty will see you now"

Jasper/Emmet: "Good Luck"

********

Emmet: "Was that as painful as it looked"

Edward: " mmmhmm"

Jasper: "Let's show the girls....."

Edward: "Right Jazz task 19 is all yours"

Emmet: "Whats 19? *looks at the sheet and whistles* Niiice maybe you should of done the last challenge, youre going to it for this one......."

**_WHAT DO YOU THINK?? WHAT HAVE EDWARD JUST DONE? WHATS JAZZ AND ALICE ABOUT TO DO? REVIEW ME AND YOU'LL FIND OUT SOONER!!_**

**_THANKOO XX_**


	6. 22:00

**SPECIAL THANKS TO TIA TASHA!! YOU RULE!! THANKS FOR INSPIRING THIS CHAPTER!!**

**ALL CRED STEPHENIE MEYER!!**

**Chapter 6**

**22:00**

**_Time 22:00_**

**_Position: Forks Hospital_**

**_Team: Girls_**

_**Mission: Walk to carlisle office**.._

Bella: "If my dad finds out, I swear.."

Alice: "You're dad wont but mine will. Trust me"

Rose: "I'll get the camera ready"

Alice: "Talk of camera, you WONT BELIEVE what Edward just done.."

Alice showed the waiting girls the picture of Edward getting waved in a very private place.

Rose:" Well that boys got balls"

Alice: "We'll we can see that, in some ways that's so eww, that's my brother"

Bella: "Poor Edward"

Alice: "Poor Edward, poor me"

Rose: "Lets go Alice, I have the bail money Right her...."

**_Time: 22:14_**

**_Position: Laplicious strip club, Port Angeles_**

**_Team: Boys_**

**_Mission: Sexy legs_**

Edward: "I can't believe we're here"

Emmet: "I can, camera ready. I lived for as long as I have for this moment."

Edward: "You know give me all the vampire strength in the world but I'm sitting in pain"

Emmet: "That hair will never grow back, believe me I know!"

Edward: "Ewww, what?"

Emmet"I experimented when I was first a vampire, what you're telling me you didn't?"

Edward: "No i didnt!!!"

Emmet: "Whatever."

Edward: "Emmet, I didn't. Whats the score so far, anyway?"

Emmet: "Well it was 2-1 at the police station, then I you know giving us 5 points. , making it 2-6. Then the girls tattooed themselves adding 5 more points to their score making it 7-6. You then had the full works giving us 5 more points, so it's 7-11 and know with Jaspers 5, I'd say we're in the lead. Okay, here we go lets get reay of the show!!"

Edward: "Add 10 points to the girls list"

Emmet "Why? what they do?"

Edward shows Emmet the pictures the girls just sent him.

Emmet: "Dude that's my sister! Damn it 10 points so I guess its 17-16. Next task is number 11 by the way"

Edward: "Here comes Jasper....."

Meanwhile back at the hospital the girls are about to embark on a can do and well it has to be a group effort...............

**_WHAT YOU THINK??? WHAT DID ALICE DO AT THE HOSPITAL?? WHAT IS JASPER CURRENTLY DOING? WHAT ARE THE GIRLS AND BOYS GOING TO DO?? LET ME KNOW PLEASE!!_**

**_fankoo xx_**


	7. 22:30

**BIG SHOUT OUT TO MY PARTNER IN CRIME TIA TASHA!!!!!!!! LOVE U!**

**ALL CRED TO STEPHENIE MEYER AND THE BACK STREET BOYS!!**

**Chapter 6**

**22:30**

**_Time: 22:30_**

**_Position: In the car, location unknown_**

**_Team: Girls_**

**_Mission: ooh the cheek!_**

Alice: "That was so fun, it's even worse losing my Porse"

Bella: "Losing your Porsche?"

Alice: "Esme's taking it off me when they find out, but it's okay I'll have Edwards Vanquish"

Rose: "So this task, who's doing it?"

Alice: "All of us!"

Bella: "All of us, then who's going to bail us out?"

Alice: "Not all of us will be caught!"

Bella: "But some of us will???"

Alice: "I didn't say that and any way I just received a video from Edward"

The girls watch the video of Jasper wearing a very skanky pantie set with knee high stockings and suspenders pole dancing to an eager female crowd who are putting notes of money in his panties.

**_Time: 22:30_**

**_Position: In the car, location unknown_**

**_Team: Boys_**

**_Mission: Back street vamps_**

Emmet: "That was worth every penny, Jazz you must practise"

Jasper: "If you like living, I suggest you button it"

Emmet: "Is that a bet, fancy an arm wrestling match beautiful?"

Edward: "Pack it in, we have some tasks to do"

Emmet: "I can't wait for this task, I'm so going rock at this but there is another task we could do, to fill the time and win 5 extra points. Guys have a good look at task 12 and I bet you don't have the balls to do it"

Jasper: "Give it here.*Looks at sheet* C'mon Edward"

*****

Meanwhile the girls receive a text and turn the radio on....

Radio: "welcome to the love station, tonight is lovers night, where couples confess their undying love for that special someone and then sing a song to or with them. Do we have a good list tonight. First up calling from Forks, Washington is Jasper Hale and he has a message for his, And I quote 'His spidermonkey' So take it away Jasper Hale

Jasper: "EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN I love you with all my heart, so baby I'm asking you to marry me?"

Edward: "Oh jazzy baby, I will"

Radio: "Oh congrats you guys but now we have the future Mr and Mr Cullen/Hale singing Back Street Boys, I promise you. Take it away lovebirds"

Edward:

Its in the silences,  
The words you never say  
I see it in your eyes,  
It always starts the same way  
It seems like everyone we know is breaking up  
Does anybody ever stay in love, anymore?

Jasper/Edward:  
I promise you,  
From the bottom of my heart  
I will love you till death do us part  
I promise you as a lover and a friend  
I will love you like I never love again  
With everything I am

Jasper:

Ooh I see you look at me,  
When you think I m not aware  
You re searching for clues,  
Of just how deep my feelings are.  
How do you prove the sky is blue, the oceans wide?  
All I know is what I feel,  
When I look into your eyes

Jasper/Edward:  
I promise you,  
From the bottom of my heart  
I will love you till death do us part  
I promise you as a lover and a friend  
I will love you like I never love again  
With everything that I am ooh yeah

Edward:

Oh there are no guarantees  
That s what you always say to me  
But late at night I feel the tremble in your touch  
Oh what I m trying to say to you,  
I never said to anyone I promise

Jasper/Edward:

I promise you,  
From the bottom of my heart  
I will love you till death do us part  
(I do my darling I promise you)  
I promise you as a lover and a friend  
I will love you like I never love again

Jasper:

With everything I am I promise you,  
From the bottom of my heart  
I will love you till death do us part  
( I love you I love you I love you I love you)  
I promise you as a lover and a friend  
I will love you like I never love again  
With everything I am

Jasper/Edward:

Youre everything I am oh yeah  
With everything I am

IN SEATTLE:

Alice: "OH"

Bella: "MY"

Rose: "GOD"

AND IN FORKS:

Mike: "OH"

Jessica: "MY"

Angela: "GOD"

AND IN LA PUSH:

Seth: "OH"

Embry: "MY"

Quil: "GOD

AND IN ALASKA:

Tanya: "OH"

Kate: "MY"

Irina: "GOD"

AND IN VOLTERRA

Aro: "OH"

Caius: "MY"

Marcus: "GOD"

AND ON ISLE ESME

Carlisle: "OH"

Esme: "MY"

Maid: "GOD"

AND SOMEWHERE IN CANADA:

Jacob: "IM NOT SUPPRISED"

WHAT YOU THINK?? PLEASE REVIEW!!

XX


	8. 23:14

_ALL CRED TO STEPHENIE MEYER AND SEATTLE SEA HAWKS_

_AGAIN MAJOR FANKOO TO TIA TASHA ILY_

_THANKS TO THOSE WHO REVIEWED AND PUT THIS ON THEIR FAVE LISTS!!_

**Chapter 8**

**23:00**

**_Time: 23:00_**

**_Position: Seattle Sea hawks stadium, Seattle_**

**_Team: Girls/Boys_**

**_Mission: Give us a B-R-E-A-K_**

Alice: "That was.. erm.."

Bella: "Educational..."

Rose: "To say the least"

Alice: "Well I guess we're not alone on our quest..."

Rose: "Well if it isn't the happy couple and my ex husband"

Edward: "Shut up Rose"

Rose: "OOO make me spidermonkey"

Edward walks to Bella and tries to kiss her.

Bella: "Promise me you didn't kiss Jasper with that mouth"

Edward: "I promise"

Jasper is facing a very amused Alice

Alice: "You pole dancing in something Rose would find to skanky and collected $100 from complete strangers who slid it into your hot pink panties and then confessed you're undying love for Edward and completed it with a song, I bet you didn't know that everyone we know was listening to that. God I love you Jasper Hale or is it Hale-Cullen now?"

Jasper: "Laugh it up honey, I anit the night time streaker at Forks general and I most certainly don't COWGIRL tattooed on my butt cheek."

Rose is avoiding Emmet.

Emmet: "Well Rose you gotta talk to me, I'm you're monkey man"

Rose: "I saw those pictures Cullen. You and that guard mmmmm"

Emmet: "That was a dare"

Rose: "Still you have human breath"

*****

Jasper: "So how we gonna do this? all break in and collect the points?"

Alice: "No, all break in yeah, all collect the points no. We go ahead with the task and when we collect the evidence we you tube it and who ever has the most hits by dawn wins, Deal?"

Bella: "Now alice, we all know that Jasper looks better in skimpy outfits than us"

Jasper: "Let's get on with it."

The 3 split up and begin with the task. They all complete the task and retreat......

*******

Emmet: " I can't believe this is the second time tonight in a police car and soon to be my 10th mugshot and I'm going to kill the others for bailing on us"

Alice: "Some has to bail us out and some guard really can't wait to see you, especially in your outfit"

Emmet: "Alice, what you see? ALICE??"

Alice: "I see the course the guard called Larry is on and you just happen to be in his near future"

Emmet: "Great I always thought I'd be in jail not someones bitch"

Alice: "Maybe he likes being the bitch"

At the police station Alice and Emmet are charged with breaking and entering and being put in a cell.

Alice: "Larry's coming"

Emmet: "Oh no"

Larry: "Emmy baby, I let you out and you get dressed up especially for me and come back"

Emmet: "Hey Larry, nah me and my sister here are on a dare, so ignore the skirt"

Larry: "You know I have a thing for cheerleaders. Care to tell me the story"

Emmet: "Really, met A-L-I-C-E she's a cheerleader and she knows the story too"

Larry: "Hey Alice, is your brother trying to play hard to get. ?"

Alice: "I don't know Larry, he would tell you the story better on your lap"

Larry: "Emmy come and take a seat on my lap and tell me the story, as soon as you do I'll take you home"

Emmet: "Damn you Alice to the deepest pits of hell" *goes to sit on Larry's lap*

Alice: "Say cheese"

Larry: "Now why were you arrested in a sea hawk cheerleaders outfit?"

Emmet: "Well......"

*****

Bella: " I just got a picture of Emmet and someone called Larry with BAIL! attached to it"

Edward: "Guess that's our Que"

**_WHAT DO YOU THINK?? WHAT HAPPENED AT THE SEA HAWKS??_**

**_PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!_**

**_FANKOO XX_**


	9. 23: 30

**I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS ALL CRED TO STEPHENIE MEYER, I DO NOT OWN THE BACKSTREETBOYS,ABBA OR MAMMA MIA.**

**BIG THANKOO TO MY BIG SIS AND PARTNER IN CRIME TIA TASHA**

**THANKS TO ALL THA REVIEW!!**

**XX**

**Chapter 9**

**23:57**

The Cullen boys and girls have been versing each other since 7pm and have done MANY MANY humiliating, illegal things. So far Emmet has been arrested twice and made a fan in jail (The police guard called Larry) Both Jasper and Edward have been arrested once and indulged in a backstreet boys classic to announced their love for each other over national radio. Jasper has pole danced in a very revealing outfit and Edward has had his personal area waxed. The girls have had sexual positions tattooed on them in Chinese and Alice stripped and ran through Forks general hospital. The score stood at 17-21 to the boys. They both chose the same task which took place in Seattle and in order to win the 10 points they had to complete the task film it and put it on you tube, whoever got the most hits wins the points. Alice and Emmet were caught and are currently in jail with Larry, so our current scene is set..................

Larry: "Now why were you arrested in a sea hawk cheerleaders outfit?"

Emmet: "Well we have a revenge/task night going on, allot of money and our cars are at stake"

Larry: "That doesn't explain this *Strokes Emmets skirt* sexy outfit"

Emmet: "Well both teams picked the same task. We had to break into the Seattle sea hawks in the sea gals outfits, do a cheer dance, record it and who ever gets the most hits on youtube by dawn wins the points"

Larry: "Emmy why didn't you say? what the next task?"

Emmet: "I have no idea"

Cop: "Alice, Emmet your bails been paid you're free to go"

Alice: "Yess!"

Larry: "Bye Emmy, hope to see you soon" *Waves at Emmet as he runs through the door and Alice whispers something in his ear*

*********

**_Time: 23:06_**

**_Position: Dixie Normus Night Club_**

**_Team: Boys_**

**_Mission: Mamma Mia_**

Edward: "After tonight, I'm all gayed out"

Jasper: "I know I cant believe we're going to do this"

Emmet: "Im passed the point of caring"

presenter: "NOW WELCOME TO THE STAGE DOING A MAMMA MIA TRIBUTE ACT THE DANCING QUEEN THREE"

*Dancing Queen intro and the boys are on stage, not before Emmet spots a familiar face"

Larry: "GO EMMEY BABY!" *HES ALSO WEARING A TEAM EMMET TEE SHIRT!!

Emmet: "I'm going to kill Alice"

**_Time: 23: 25_**

**_Position: Port Angeles Docks_**

**_Team: Girls_**

**_Mission: Even prettier women_**

Alice: "I can't believe we're doing this"

Bella: " I look like a whore"

Rose: "Kinda the point honey. I look stupid in this wig"

Boys from cars :"HOW MUCH LOVE?"

Rose: "Keep driving if you want to keep your nose from being broken"

Alice: "OH NO! The boys have found out our planned task and they're not happy or Rose do you have that fake ID on you?"

Rose: "Not happy? It's the points more than morals and yes why?"

Alice: "Just in case. They have no morals, you DON'T want to know what they just did, well actually we're about to..."

The Cullen boys and Larry roar round the corner in mini skirts, boob tubes and platform boots accompanied by ABBA wigs.

Edward: "What do you think you're doing Isabella Swan?"

Bella: "Winning, Edward Cullen what are you wearing?"

Emmet: "Don't change the subject, cover yourselves up NOW!"

Alice: "It'll cos you!"

Jasper: "What?"

Rose: "We're completing the task. It'll cost you $500 each and you take full responsibility to any damage to the house"

Emmet: "You think you're going to win this? Do you?"

Alice: "Emmet I advise you not to"

Rose: "What's he going to do? He doesn't have it in him to cross me"

Alice: "Me and Bella will met you at the 24hours cafe down the road and I suggest you use that ID and for god sake keep the wig on"

Rose: "What.. Emmet!??"

Emmet: "I'm crossing you baby! Larry, meet my wife Rose meet Larry, a police officer. Larry arrest this woman for prostitution"

Larry: "You got it Emmy. I'm charging you with prostitution....."

Rose: "Damn you Emmet"

Bella: "Emmet, I can't believe you"

Emmet: "Keep talking I'll get Larry back"

Alice: "It's okay Bella, Rose has our instructions and we'll Emmet's pettiness will put as WAY ahead"

The girls walk off. The 3 guys watch Larry take Rose away.

Jasper: "What did Alice mean by that?"

Edward: "Rose will meet a familiar face in the slammer and complete 2 tasks at the same time"

Emmet: "Who's the familiar face?"

Edward: "You don't want to know....."

_**OOO WHO IS THAT FAMILIAR FACE??? PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!!**_

_**FANKOO**_

_**XX**_


	10. MIDNIGHT MADNESS

**ALL CRED TO STEPHENIE MEYER!**

**AND TIS TASHA, MY SISTA FROM ANOTHER MISTER. HER STORY TOO!!**

**THANKS TO ALL REVIEWS AND ADDS TO FAVE LISTS!!**

**LVFO X**

**Chapter 10**

**MIDNIGHT MADNESS**

Emmet, Edward and Jasper have all just performed at dixie normus drag club as the dancing queens three, Edward tracked down the girls by finding their minds and was too pleased that they were trying task 23. Become a Hooker and either find a paying customer or get arrested trying. Emmet though he was being clever by getting his new 'friend' to arrest his wife. Emmet has it coming to him and Rose has a little surprise......

Larry: "Emmets to good for you"

Rose: "You're welcome to that ape."

Larry: "How dare you compare Emmy to a monkey, hes more a tiger, RAWR"

Rose: "Oh please"

At the station:

Police officer: "Name and ID please"

Rose: "Cristal Chandelier"

Rose is now thrown into the cell that has since everyone but Bella.

Police officer: "Good evening Chief. Swan, thank you so much for sorting this case out of me. The rest of the files are in there"

Charlie: "Good evening miss, what you in for?"

Rose: "Killing my husband or that what my next offence will be"

Charlie: " You look a little too young to be married"

Rose: "I'm older than I look"

Charlie: "Do I know you from somewhere? You look awfully familiar!"

Rose: "Nah, I'm just passing through. Im Cristal by the way"

Charlie: "I'm Charlie"

Rose: "So what you say Charlie, you fancy letting me outta here?..........."

**_Time: 00:05_**

**_Position: 4hour cafe, Port Angeles_**

**_Team: Girls_**

**_Mission:guess who your stepmom?_**

Bella: "I can't believe the Emmet did that, How longs Rose going to be?"

Alice: "Depends.."

Bella: "Depends on what?"

Alice: "Your Dad!"

Bella: "WHAT???"

Alice: "Shes gaining points by sweet talking her way out of jail and getting a front seat ride in a cop car"

Bella: "Charlie will never.... And the ways shes dressed. NO WAY!"

Rose: "Hey guys!"

Bella: "HOW THE HELL?"

Rose: "Enough small talk. Next task?"

Alice: "I've got a strange feeling that we really want to do task 17....."

**_Time: 00:35_**

**_Position: The 'just do it' church. Port Angeles_**

**_Team: Boys_**

**_Mission: Do you really??_**

Emmet: "Why me?"

Jasper: "Because it would take to much time to start over and you already have someone plus your wife's in jail"

Edward: "Apparently the minster's one of those ordinated internet minsters and they're ready to start"

Emmet: "I really don't"

Jasper: "C'mon big boy, batters up"

Jasper/Edward/Emmet: "WHAT THE F?"

Rose: "Boys if you please, this is a house of god now are we ready to begin?"

Emmet: "I'm going to hell slowly but surely......."

**_OHHHH WHAT DID THE GIRLS NOT WANNA MISS? WHAT IS EMMET ABOUT TO DO?? MMMMMM_**

**_REVIEWS PLEASE!!_**

**_FANKOO XX_**


	11. 01:05

**ALL CRED TO STEPHENIE MEYER!**

MY WRITING PARTNER TIA TASHA WOULD LIKE TO THANK U ALL FOR YOUR AMAZING REVIEWS AND GIVES YOU ALL MAJOR BIG HUGS!!!

thankoo to u all who review!! and add as to ur fave list :Dxx

**Chapter 11**

**01:00**

**_Time: 01:00_**

**_Position: 'Just do it' church, Port Angeles_**

**_Team(s): Boys/Girls_**

**_Mission: Till death do us part._**

Bella: "What did I just witness?"

Edward: "I don't know. My eyes hurt a little"

Jasper: "I feel sick"

Alice: "what just happened?"

_FLASHBACK_

Rose: " Are we ready to begin?"

Emmet: "I thought you were in jail? How?"

Rose: "Honey I created sweet talk and do you REALLY think I'd miss this?"

Emmet: "I.. erm.I"

Rose : " Lets start. Ladies and Gentlemen we are gathered here today to join Emmet Cullen and Larry Big in holy matrimony...."

Rose: " I know pronounce you husband and husband you may kiss.. eachother?"

Larry jumps up on Emmet and gives him a full on french kiss, much to everyones distress.

_END OF FLASHBACK._

Rose: "Did you see where Emmet ran to after, well you know what.."

Alice: "No he's still undecided"

Bella: "I've never seen a grown vampire man scream so high before"

Edward: "Or cry, well if he could"

Jasper: "That Larry ran after him sooo fast"

Rose: "You can't stop true love"

Alice phone rings.

Alice: "Jasper its for you, it's your brother Peter"

Jasper: "Hello? WHAT? NOOO NOO YOU'VE GOT IT ALL WRONG. ME AND EDWARD ARE NOT TOGETHER.. WELL I DIDN'T KNOW YOU FELT THAT WAY. What about Charlotte? Im sorry, goodbye"

Edward: "How come that me, jazz and Em have had to question our sexuality but none of you girls have done anything remotely gay?"

Alice: "PURLEEZ, me, Rose and Bella getting jiggy. Its too hot."

Larry enters the church crying.

Larry: "My Emmey bear has gone, I just really need to be with family now!!"

Bella: "OOh larry it's okay"

Larry: "He proposed to me! A little fast sure but I'm much better than physco Blondie here"

Rose: "HEY!"

Jasper: "he's right, you are more trouble"

Larry: "You'd love me right? I'm not a bad catch am i?"

Edward: "No, Emmets a fool"

Larry: "Really?"

Edward: "Really!"

Larry: " Then maybe me and you could...."

ALL: "RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

**PLEASE CHECK OUT MY OTHER STORY LOVED BY A BEATING HEART!!**

**_WHAT DO YOU THINK? THE NIGHT IS STILL YOUNG!! MORE DISATERS TO COME?? WHAT ELSE COULD THEY DO TO TOP WHAT THEY HAVE DONE?? STAY READING!!_**

**_PLEASE REVIEW!_**

**_FANKOOXX_**


	12. 01:15

**_THANKOO TO ALL THOSE WHO RE-VIEWED AND ADDED ME TO THEIR FAVE LISTS!_**

**_SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED SOONER!_**

**PLEASE CHECK OUT MY OTHER STORIES I'VE SPENT MY TIME WORKING ON THEM!!**

_I dont own anything, thank Stephenie Meyer_

**Chapter 12**

**01:15**

**_Time: 01:15_**

**_Position: Port Angeles Dock_**

**_Team: Emmet_**

**_Mission: Sink or gin?_**

Emmett has done a runner from the Church in Port Angeles and is now plotting revenge on all those responsible when he stumbles across a familiar face:

Emmett: "Seat taken?"

Charlie: "Nope, be my guest"

Emmett: "Whats your issue?"

Charlie: "Broken hearted you?"

Emmett: "Heart breaker. Tough love eh? What happened?"

Charlie: "Met the woman of my dreams and then I lost her. So who's heart you breaking?"

Emmett: "My husband. Just not really into the same things as me."

Charlie: "I know what you mean, this woman was already in the handcuffs. Want some?" *hands Emmett a gin bottle"

Emmett: "Nice. Why not?" *Takes a drink of gin*

Charlie: "Any reason your dressed like that? Nice wig by the way"

Emmett: "You really don't want to know"

Charlie: "I need to get over Christal, any ideas?"

Emmett: "Sure follow me...."

**_Time: 01:25_**

**_Position: Location Unknown, in a plane._**

**_Team: Esme and Carlisle_**

**_Mission: The Italian Job._**

Esme: "I can't wait to see what's going on back home"

Carlisle: "We need to remember they're older than they look"

Esme: "I don't care how old they are! My house better be standing"

*Carlisle's phone rings*

Carlisle: "Hello Aro, I'm sorry I think you must be mistaken. Edward? Yes! HE IS NOT GOING TO MARRY YOU! my permission for his hand is irrelevant! FINE! GOODBYE"

Esme: "What was that?"

Carlisle' "A possible war..."

**_Time: 01:30_**

**_Position: NON STOP PARTY, port angeles._**

**_Team: Girls_**

**_Mission: neverland_**

The girls left Edward and Jasper to track down the new whilst the carried on with tasks..

Alice: "You girls ready?"

Bella: "I guess!"

Rosalie: "I suppose"

Alice: "On the count of three, 1, 2, 3!"

Bella: "Why'd we have to dress up? I have already been , a cheerleader and a whore tonight"

Rosalie: "Bella what exactly are you now?"

Bella: "Little red riding hood"

Alice: "But Bella, Little red riding hood doesn't have fangs or a Dracula cape"

Bella: "I know I couldn't decide!"

Alice: "Strange. Rose WonderWoman? Really?"

Rosalie: "Yes? What about you Tinkerbell? Going to get Jasper to squeeze into green tights eh?"

Bella: "Hilarious now let get on with it....."

**_Time: 01:50_**

**_Position: Port Angeles Docks_**

**_Team: Boys - Emmett + Larry_**

**_Mission: HUMANS ARE FRIENDS NOT FOOD_**

Larry: "Where could he be?"

Edward: "Larry you hold my hand,one more time! and I will ..."

Jasper: "Edward remember our family moto! Larry you didn't have to come with us"

*They hear distant signing*

Edward: "OH"

Jasper: "MY"

Larry: "EMMEY!"

They can see Emmett and Charlie out in the dock on a boat singing.

Emmett/Charlie: "ALL ALONE, THERE'S NO ONE HERE BESIDE ME!"

Charlie: "Edward, it's okay I don't mmmind that your a vammmpire. Emmett here explainnned everything!"

Edward: "Charlie, you're drunk?"

Charlie: "I am nooot! Like I said I'm happpppy for you and. and..."

Edward: "Bella?"

Charlie: "YES! Bella! just pommise me sommething. Don't have babies! cause me and Emmmet have been dicusing names and really you have strange names and I don't want to be a grannndpaa to to ESMLISE or a CHAREENE or EDWELLA, actually we liked RENESMEE but don't. I warning you. Emmet will tell me!"

Larry: "Emmet is mine bitch!"

Charlie: " Larry? wow you're pretty"

Larry: "Really? I though this top was too tight!"

Charlie: "Noooope perfect"

Larry: "Oh honey, thats sweet! Lets get outta here follow me..."

Charlie and Larry skip off into the moonlight arm in arm.

Jasper/Edward: "EMMETT, EXPLAIN?"

Emmet: "Thats my husband! That bastard! explain what? ooh Charlie? I BLAME THE RUM!"

Edward: "We can't get drunk!"

Emmet: "Actually we can, goes straight into our blood! fancy some?"

Jasper: "OO gawd."

Emmett: "Is it me or the drinking talking but I'm pretty sure that's wonderwoman, tinkerbell and some weird little read riding Dracula running towards us."

Edward: "I can only see a wolf....."

**_WHAT YOU THINK?? PLEASE PLEASE RE-VIEW!!_**

**_FANKKO XX_**


	13. 02:00

**_THANKOO TO ALL THAT HAVE RE-VIEWED! I DO TRY TO REPLY!! AND FANKOO TO ALL THAT HAVE ADDED ME TO THEIR FAVE LISTS!!_**

**_REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!_**

**_REVIEW MAKES CARLIE A FASTER WRITTER!!_**

**_CHECK OUT MY OTHER STORIES:_**

LOVED BY A BEATING HEART

SOUL MATE, ALWAYS!

**_ALL OWNED BY STEPH MEYER!_**

**_Chapter 13_**

**_02:00_**

**_Time: 02:00_**

**_Position: Port Angeles docks_**

**_Team : Boys/Girls_**

**_Mission: OH NO YOU DID'NT *clicks fingers*_**

Emmett: "Waaaaaasssuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup? Charlies angels?"

Rose: "What's wrong with him?"

Edward/Jasper: "Drunk!"

Rose: "Drunk? How on what?"

Emmett: "On Gin, that rhymes with win, as in what weeee are doing!"

Rose: "God help me."

Jasper: "What's with the costumes?"

Alice: "Don't ask!"

Bella: "JACOB?"

Bella spots a wolf in the distance with a similar russet brown colouring. Everyone stares at the vibrating figure and soon see's Jacob running towards them.

Bella: "Oh Jacob, I'm so glad your back! I've missed you so much"

Jacob: "Yeah Bella. Erm I'm not here for you"

Bella: "What?"

Jacob walks past Bella and heads towards Edward..

Jacob: "I love you Edward, choose me!"

Bella: "WHAT THE F***?!"

Jacob: "Sorry Bells, It's the only way I could see Edward by pretending I love when he growls at me my heart just beats faster and when you agreed to marry him I was howling in pain for him I cant help how I feel about him and then when I heard the radio, I just had to tell him how I feel"

Before anyone had a chance to comment on what just happened, Emmett though it appropriate to talk...

Emmett: "Sooo the DAWG loove my bruva? SHUURUP!! Bellaz how you gonna deal wiv dat? I would turn him to to a hawt dawg! YOU GO GURL!"

Rose: "Emmet SIT DOWN NOW!"

Edward: "Jacob, I don't know what to say?"

Bella: "I give you permission to kill the pup!"

Jacob: "SHUT IT RED! Say yes, to me ditch this human and come with me!"

Bella: "I'm going to kill you"

Bella lunges at Jacob, Edward throws himself into the fight, closely followed by Alice and Jasper Rose joins in the brawl soon after. Emmett is at sideline doing a dance.

**_MEANWHILE ON CRIMEWATCH TV:_**

Presenter: Today's youth had been badly currpted by drug and alcohol abuse, I send you now live to Port Angeles, Washington were Gaynor reports on a current situation.

Gaynor: "Thank you, you find me here at Port Angeles Docks with Emmett Cullen who is a spectator of this love triangle brawl that had escalated behind us. Emmett what  
do you think of this?"

Emmett: " I say TEAM BELLA!! woop woop."

Gaynor: "Have you consumed any underage substances tonight Emmett? "

Emmett: " No, Ive only been drinking GIN!!"

Gaynor: "Can you tell us whathas caused this fight, which is still happening behind us? I hope the camera man is catching this. Tinkerbell is now death gripping the Indian and Red riding hood is kicking the bronze haired god between the legs. Wonder woman and a man dressed in abba outfits are discussing tactics!"

Emmett: "The wolf loves the lion but now the lambs pissed, you know what I mean? Wonder woman, Tinkerbell, emo kid and aa man are just enjoying themselves. Hey you kinda hot and you smell so yuuummmy! I COULD JUST EAT YOU UP!"

Rose: "Emmett are you flirting with her? I'm going to kill you"

Emmett: "ARGH WONDER WOMAN'S GONE MAAAAD. OOO there's my Gin bottle...."

Gaynor: "Join us after this break.. Crazy as kids"

Alice: "What you say?"

Jasper: "Go tinker!!"

**_ON A PLANE LOCATION UNKNOWN:_**

Aro: "THE LIONS MINE!!"

Caius:" Did he say WOLF?"

Jane: "Dude, one wolf turned you down 2523 years ago and now you must seek revenge on all wolves because your pride got hurt. Get a life"

Caius: "Shut it, he was the love of my life. That fur, those teeth, oooh that tail.."

Jane: "Oh GAWD! I'm going to get a stiff drink. ALEC!!"

Alec: "Yes honey?"

Jane: "Vodka me, NOW!"

**_BACK TO THE SCENE AT PORT ANGELES:_**

Gaynor: "Welcome back to live crime watch, I'm here in the middle of a street brawl with Jacob Black who has confessed his love for Edward Cullen is that correct?

Jacob: "Yes Eddie-kins you're Jakie loves you forever!"

Bella: "I'm gonna kill you dog!"

Gaynor: "I guess this must be Bella Swan, Edwards future wife. Bella? nice costume! How do you feel?"

Bella: "I'm annoyed I guess"

Gaynor: "Can't blame you Edward's a dish"

Jacob: "WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT MY EDWARD?"

Gaynor: "Erm... ARGH BELLA BITE ME!"

Alice: "Go Bella!"

Emmett: "LARRY BABY COME HOME TO EMMEY! hey look Eddies crying!!"

Gaynor: "CUT!! GO BACK TO THE NEWS DESK. RIGHT BELLA SWAN BRING IT ON BITCH!"

Presenter: "Thank you for that report on drinking and teem violence"

**_ON A PLACE, LOCATION UNKNOWN_**

Carlisle: ESME! ESME! WAKE UP! I didn't even know vampires could pass out!

**_BACK IN FORKS:_**

Mike: "Is Bella single now?"

Eric: "Is Bella single now?"

Tyler: "Is Bella single now?"

Angela: "Is Bella single now?

**_IN ALASKA:_**

Kate: "All monies on Wonder woman"

Irina: " Take that bet sister and place all my money on Tinkerbell"

Carmen: "I see a mean streak in Little red riding vamp. She gets my backing"

Eleazer: "Where's Tanya?"

All: "TANYA??"

_**WHAT YOU THINK?? PLEASE PLEASE RE-VIEW :D IT MAKES ME A HAPPY BUNNY!**_

_**FANKOO**_

_**XX**_


	14. 03:02

**_thank you for all your reviews!! make my day_**

**_my writing partner TIA TASHA! would like to thank you all!! We right this together so MUCH credit to her!!_**

**_all belongs to SM_**

**_Chapter 14_**

**_03:02_**

**_Time: 03:02_**

**_Position: Port Angeles, exact location unknown_**

**_Team: Emmett/Bella_**

**_Mission: Vampire + human + LOTS of alochol = "I WILL SURVIVE?"_**

Bella: "Emmett pass me the god damn Gin"

Emmett: "You know what I miss? "

Bella: "DO NOT SAY LARRY'S ASS! IF YOU DO I WILL KILL YOU!"

Emmett: "Fine, I miss Edwards ass!"

Bella: "Me too" *both start crying into each others arms*

Emmett: "What happened to the Gin?"

Bella: "Maybe it ran away with Jacob! But don't you have Vodka on you?"

Emmett: "I did *hiccup*"

Bella: "Lets sing our troubles away!"

The two pass a karaoke bar and decide they should sing away their troubles....

Club man: "I now introduce EM 'N' IZZ, singing "I will survive" take it away..."

Emmett/Bella: "I will survive hay ay *hiccup* *mumbles* As lonng as I know to get dadada dadad"

Audience: "Get off the stage. BOO!!"

Charlie: "YOU SUCK!!"

Larry: "BOOO!!"

Emmett: "Larrykins? OO baby"

Bella: "DAD??"

Charlie: "Hey I caught that Tv show, how's Jake?" *Bella starts crying*

Larry: "OO Bella love that little red riding hood outfit, did they have it in my size?"

Emmett: "Larry??"

Larry: "I'm sorry Emmy your just not ANIMAL enough for me. Plus have you seen the size of Charlies GUN??" *Emmett starts crying*

Club man: "NOW PLEASE WELCOME TO THE STAGE AND GUN! Singing HILARY DUFF: BEAT OF MY HEART!"

Emmett: "That's just another nail in the coffin. THE BEAT OF MY HEART?? *Emmett starts pounding his chest* BEAT BEAT"

Then as Larry and Charlie take the stage. Rose, Alice Jasper, Edward and JACOB?? burst in.

Rose: "GET OVER YOURSELF EMMETT HIS DOES NT WANT YOU!"

Alice: "I do believe we have a task to complete? NOW GET YOURSELVES TOGETHER! BELLA! PUT DOWN THE SHOT!"

Edward: "Bella, love?"

Bella: "Staaay awaay dawg breath" *Falls into his Edwards arms*

Jasper: "Guys, task time! Time to fast food dine'n'dash."

Edward: "JACOB STOP HUMPING MY LEG"

**_Time: 03:30_**

**_Position: 24 hours Mcdonalds, Port Angeles_**

**_Team: Boys_**

**_Mission : Cows taste nicer between bread._**

Jasper: "What do we order?"

Edward: "I don't know? Cow?"

Emmett: "Ewww Coows taste like rubber *BURP*"

Edward: "I think we should let the drunk take this one"

Jasper: "True, We need the points. The points stand 42-31 to the girls"

Emmett: " Why are people staaaaring us at?"

Jasper: "We're still dressed in drag at almost 4am after a wild night out. Emmett order a burger. You must eat it before paying"

Edward: "Whats the rules?"

Jasper: "First team to dine 'n' dash the listed fast food restaurants wins 10 points"

Edward: "How do we know who finshes first?"

Jasper: "We take picture evidence of each dash and the last one is an all night cafe where you have to eat a full breakfast and then dashing. Both teams will met there at 4am. First on to get out. Wins."

Whilst Jasper was explaining the rules to Edward. Emmett had ordered a big mac.

Server: "That will be $5.00 please"

Emmett: "I want to try before you buy*

Server: "Sir I must insist on payment"

Emmett: "Okay hang on. Hey human fancy a bit?"

Server: "Sir...."

Emmett: "DID YOU DRINK MY RUM?"

Jasper/Edward: RUUUUN!!!!!!

**_Time: 03:45_**

**_Position: 24 KFC, Port Angeles_**

**_Team: Girls_**

**_Mission: KENTUCKY FRIED, BELLA DAMN STOP TROWING UP!_**

Alice: "Why is it that we have a GOD DAMN HUMAN with us and were losing an EATING challenge?"

Rose: "Because she busy throwing up and beating the dog. She still drinking from the Gin bottle my dumbass husband gave her"

Alice: "Why did Jake follow us?"

Rose: "Bella put a lead on him and tied him to the car."

Alice: "Bella tied a WEREWOLF to a car. Human Bella tied WEREWOLF Jake strong enough to the car?"

Rose: "Soo what I may of helped a little."

Alice: "BELLA LEAVE THE CLEANER ALONE!!"

Bella: "HE MISSED A SPOT!!"

Rose: " You keep throwing up in the same spot Bella"

Alice: "What we going to do with her?"

Rose: "Honestly? BITE HER!"

Alice: "BELLA DON'T SMOKE THAT!"

Stoner: "Leave her bee duuude. If little red wants a buzz, smoke away. Tinker bell wheres your wiiings?? Wonderwomans kinda hawt" *reaches for Rose's butt*

Rose: "KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF. Great now she's high!"

Bella: "KENTUCKY FRIEND CHICKEN AND A PIZZA HUT! oooo PIZZZZA" *Bella starts dancing around the room*

Alice: "It's you turn Rose,chicken wings?...."

**WHAT YOU THINK?? PLEASE RE-VIEW!!**

**THANKOO**

**XX**


	15. 04:00

**_Sorry its taken sooo long to update!! MY SOCIAL LIFE CALLED HAHAHAHA!!_**

**_hope you like! _**

**_as always written by TIA TASHA and myself and we would like to thank all you guys who re-view YOU MAKE OUR DAY :D:D_**

**_ALL OWNED BY SM!_**

**_ENJOY BIATCHES:......_**

**_Chapter 15_**

**_04:00_**

**_Time: 04:00_**

**_Position: 24hour cafe_**

**_Team: boys/girls_**

**_Mission: I'm gonna BREAK you FAST_**

Alice: "Were late, damn dog is slowing us down!"

Rose: "Is he still attached to the car?"

Alice: "Who the hell do you think Bella's throwing Oreo'S at? and screaming "give me your paw" at?!?"

Rose: "Bella calm down where almost here"

Bella:"Alice take me shopping. I need things"

Alice: "Drunk Bella is so much funner"

Bella:: "BUUUURP"

Rose: "Drunk Bella cant keep food down! AND THIS IS A GODAMN EATING CHALLENGE!!"

Alice: "Yup we're screwed!"

The girls pull up at the cafe the same time the boys do.

Jasper: "Ready for this?"

Edward: "Why is Jake tied to the car?"

Bella: "WANNA JOIN HIM? LOVER BOY?"

Emmett: "BELLA!! YAY! HEY WHAT CAN I SMELL. GIN?"

Bella: "Nooooo, *hiccups* Its erm Chicken, yeah..I ate some at KFC, when Rose chickened, hahaha chickened out!"

Rose: "I did not and you threw up the chicken you ate over your new 'friends' "

Bella: "YER MON, I'M HUNGRY!"

Alice: "Thats called the munchies!"

Edward: "Munchies"

Bella: "YEEER MON I MADE FRIENDS TOOOO *BURPS*"

Jasper: "We got our evidence of our dine 'n' dashes. How bout you?"

Rose: "We got them. Now who's the lucky pair eating the final meal?"

Emmett and Bella are tormenting Jake

Bella: "Does Polly want a cracker?"

Emmett: "He's not a bird, is he? CAN YOU FLY JACOB?"

Jacob: "GROWLS"

Alice/Jasper/Edward/Rose: "Those two can do it"

They enter the cafe and order to HUGE fried breakfast's,

Edward: "The first one to finish this and get out the door, in their full team without paying wins. On your marks, get set, go!"

Emmett: "Bella whats this?"

Bella:"I think its meant to be a.. a... erm.. I'm not really sure"

Alice: "COME BELLA!!"

Jasper: "GULF IT DOWN EMMETT"

Bella: "Emmet, whats that? In your pocket, the long hard thing?"

Emmett: "I can't say but I can show you"

Rose/Edward: "EMMETT!!"

Emmett: "WHAT?"

After a WHOLE hour of drunken conversation and VERY VERY slow eating Emmett finishes the last bean and bolts with his team out the door. The remaining team must pay.

Alice: "DAMN IT BELLA!"

Rose: "Now were ahead by ONE point. Thanks Bella. BELLA? OMG SHES DEAD!!"

Alice: "Nooope not dead, passed out. Great grab her whilst I pay"

Rose: "Why me?"

Alice "You look more manly than me!Plus how suspicious will it be if I left her up, IM TINY!"

Rose:"MANLY??"

Alice pays and Rose takes Bella to the bench outside.

**_Time: 05:12_**

**_Position: Car, location unknown_**

**_Team: Boys_**

**_Mission: JESS get the hell outta here!_**

Jasper: "Who's going to get her?"

Emmett: "Edward"

Edward: "We all will!"

Jasper: "Are you sure we can handle this, I mean it's Jessica Stanley?"

Edward: "ARGH! Even her dreams are suggestive, come on Lets go."

They pull up outside Jessica Stanley's house and the boys sneek into her bedroom.

Emmett: "Look she has written over her diary"

Edward: "Shut up"

Jasper: "Holy shit, she has a 'how to kill Bella diary'"

Edward: "Give it to me! Right Jazz you get her head, Emmett? EMMETT PUT THAT DOWN!"

Emmett: "WHAT IS IT??"

Jasper: "What do you THINK it is?"

Emmett: "Well it looks like a dil.."

Edward: "Enough! LETS NOT THINK OF WHAT IT IS!"

Emmett: "Jasper what you think?"

Edward: "WHAT HAVE HE WROTE ON IT??"

Jasper: "Edward Cullen was here"

Edward: "IM GOING TO.."

Jessica: "MMmm Mike.."

Jasper: "Oh GAWD lets get on with this, the lust coming off her now is making me have MEN TROUBLES!"

Emmett: "Is that a banana or are you just happy to see me?"

Edward: "SHUT UP! LETS DO THIS! HER THOUGHT ARE TURNING ME! OOOH NO!"

Jasper/Emmett: "WHAT?"

Jessica: "EDWARD OOO EDWARD LEAVE MIKE ALONE, ITS ME YOU WANT!"

Jasper and Emmett fall to the floor laughing causing Jessica to wake up.

Jessica: "WHAT THE ??"

Edward: "BAIL!!"

All three boys jump out of the window and run to the car.

Jasper: "JUST DRIVE! DAWNS ALMOST UP AND WE CAN DO ONE MORE TASK! WE NEED TO WIN!"

Emmett: "You the one I want ooo ooo ooo honey, your the one I want ooo ooo ooo"

Jasper/Edward: "EMMETT?? WHAT THE??"

Emmett: "I don't know!"

Edward: "Drive."

**_Time: 05:35_**

**_Position: Forks high school, Forks_**

**_Team: Girls_**

**_Mission: GONING ONCE GOING TWICE GAAAAARHHHH ITALIANS!_**

Rose: "When's Bella going to wake up?"

Alice: "In about 30 seconds"

Rose: "About time, shes been drooling on me"

Bella: "Aaaa my head."

Alice: "That would be the hangover."

Bella: "I need to sleeeeeep."

Rose: "Nope we need to finish this! ALICE WHERE IS HE?"

Alice: "He's coming, he wont be long"

Bella: "Who what and where?"

Alice: "SHHHH"

Rose: "Wheres the mutt?"

Alice: "I HAVE NO IDEA!DAMN IT! BELLA WHERES JACOB?"

Bella: "Oooops *giggles*"

Alice/Rose: "WHAT?"

Bella: "SOLD HIM!!"

Alice: "Who would buy him and when you have time to? How come I didn't see?"

Bella: "Just before we went into that cafe, some Italian dude was like *impersonates an Italian accent* MAY I BUY YOUR DOG?"

Rose: "What was his name?"

Bella : "NO CLUE HE STARTED SPEAKING ITALIAN INTO HIS CELL!!"

Alice: "What can you remember him saying?"

Bella: "ARO, DOG. BOUGHT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH, THEN SOME CRAZY DUDE CAME RUNNING DOWN THE STREET CRYING CAIUS! DRUNKEN FOOLS!!"

Alice/Rose: "OOOO NOOO!"

Bella: "LOOKIE LOOKIE!!"*points to an approaching car*

Rose: "About time!"

Alice: "MASKS ON! Bella Get the rope........."

**_WHATS GOING HAPPEN!! DAWNS COMING!! ITS GOING TO BE ONE HELLOVA SHOWDOWN!! OOOM_**

**_RE-VIEW PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**

**_FANKOO!!_**

**_XX_**


	16. 05:54

**_THANK YOU FOR ALL THOSE WHO HAVE REVIEWED! AND ADDED ME TO THEIR FAVE LISTS YOU RULE!_**

**_ALL BELONGS TO SM!_**

**_Chapter 16_**

**_05:54_**

**_Time: 05:54_**

**_Position: Forks high school, Forks_**

**_Team: Girls_**

**_Mission: OH MIKE GAWD!_**

Bella: "OOOOOM WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?"

Rose: "Drugged Mike Newton and then tied him up and threw him into to boot, why?"

Bella: "No reason."

Alice: "We better get going. The boys are on their way to the dumping ground"

Rose: "Who's they kidnap?"

Alice:"At first they tried Jessica but settled on... OMG! LOOK AT THAT!" *points to car chase*

Bella: "OH"

Rose: "MY"

Alice: "CARLISLE?"

The girls see Carlisle and Esme being chased in a car by a car covered in Italian flags and a werewolf attached to the roof.

Bella: "JACOB!"

Rose: "YOU SOLD HIM TO THE VOLTURI??"

Bella: "WHAT??"

Alice: "Why are they chasing Carlisle? And why are they here?"

Rose: "Carlisle or the Volturi"

Alice: "Both"

All: "DAMN!!"

Bella: "OH"

Rose: "MY"

Alice: "TANYA?"

Tanya is driving madly down the street after the Volturi and Carlisle and Esme..

Bella: "WHATS GOING ON??"

Alice: "I have no idea!"

Bella: "BUT YOUR PHYSIC!!"

Alice: "DAMN"

Rose: "Where are the boys?"

**_Time: 06:00_**

**_Position: Location unknown, Forks_**

**_Team: Boys_**

**_Mission: WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I'M A FICTIONAL CHARACTER IN A SUPERNATURAL WORLD? DAMN PIXIES._**

Emmett: "I suddenly miss Jessica"

Jasper: "Me too"

Edward: "Me three"

Lauren: "EDWARD CULLEN IS IN THE BACK SEAT OF A CAR WITH ME, OMG! BEING KIDNAPPED IS SOOOO FUN! OMG JASPER HALE OMG EMMETT CULLEN WOOOOW! JESS IS NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS"

Jasper: "THATS IT, LET ME AT HER"

Emmett: "JASPER NOO, I DON'T WANT TO BE STUCK WITH HER FOR ETERNITY!"

Edward: "DON'T BITE HER!!"

Lauren: "ooo kinky, eh JASPER! il bite if YOU want!!*wink wink*"

SOMEWHERE NEAR THE DROP OFF POINT THE GIRLS ARE SCARED BY ALICE'S VISION!! The boys come into sight and Alice is pretty annoyed...

Alice: "THAT'S IT, LET ME AT HER!"

Rose: "ALICE NOO, I DON'T WANT TO BE STUCK WITH HER FOR ETERNITY!"

Bella:"DON'T BITE HER!"

Lauren: "WTF?"

Emmett: "Well know you see our kidnap victim, 10 points us bitches!"

Rose: "SHE WASN'T KIDNAPPED SHE AGREED TO THIS!"

Edward: "DID NOT!*cough Lauren cough*"

Lauren: "I did NOT agree to this, I was taken against my will and forced to come here. I will contact the police telling them of my violent abduction."

Bella: "That was sooo prepapared!"

Edward: "WAS NOT!"

Emmett: "Where's your victim bitches?"

Rose: "EMMETT I KNOW YOUR NOT DRUNK ANYMORE CALL US BITCHES ONE MORE TIME AND I WILL BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH YOUR OWN ARM!"

Emmett: "JEEZZZZ. *whispers bitches*

Rose: "THATS IT. YOUR DEAD CULLEN"

Emmett does a runner closly followed by Rose...

Jasper: "Riiiight. What have you brought"

Bella: "Mike Newton. 10 points bitches"

Edward: "You can say that. If Emmett can't YOU CAN'T"

Bella: "SHURRUP DAWGLOVER."

Lauren: "I'm soo confused. I though Edward was a cat lover. Lion's riiight RAWR!"

Mike: "Bella!!!"

Bella: "DAMN IT"

Edward: "WTF?"

Alice: "Guess that's 10 point each. Have you guys any clue of whats going on?"

Jasper: "With what?"

Alice: "Erm Carlsile and Esme, the Volturi, Jacob and Tanya?"

Edward: "What? JACOB?"

Just as they are about to discuss this matter a 3 car chase goes speeding by, followed by a petrified Emmett and an angry Rose who are now circling the drop off point.

Jasper: "Is that..?"

Alice: "Yuuup."

Edward: "WHY ON EARTH IS CARLISLE AND ESME BEING CHASED DOWN BY THE VOLTURI WITH A JACOB ATTACHED TO THE ROOF WHO ARE IN TURN BEING CHASED BY TANYA! WHAT THE F**K?"

Bella: "OO EDWARD YOU SWORE!"

Alice: "They all heading towards the house, maybe we should join them."

Edward: "ANOTHER CAR HAS JOINED IN THE CHASE!"

Lauren: "OH"

Mike: "MY"

Bella: "DADDY??"

Jasper: "and LARRY!"

Emmett: "LARRY-KINS??"

Alice: "LETS GO SORT THIS OUT!"

**_MEANWHILE:_**

**_Car: Carlisle/Esme_**

Esme: "Why didn't you just let Aro marry Edward?"

Carlisle: "Edwards choice."

Esme: "SCREW EDWARD'S CHOICE, WERE BEING HUNTED BY THE GOD DAMN VOLTURI!"

Carlisle: "It'll be okay.."

Esme: "DON'T TALK JUST DRIVE. GET US HOME!"

**_Car: The Volturi_**

Jane: "ARO PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN! THEIR SPEEDING UP"

Aro: "What if Edward says no, I'm so nervous"

Caius: "Why would he say no? Your a tiger in the sack! yeah baby!"

Alec: "Why is there a dog on our roof?"

Caius: "We needed a pet and jakey-cakes is perfect"

Jane: "JAKEY-CAKES? How much did he cost anyway?"

Caius: "ERM....*coughs VOLTERRA coughs*

all: "WHAT?"

Caius: "WE NEEDED A CHANGE OF SCENERY!! 71297092347 YEARS COME GUYS!!"

Alec: "MARCUS WILL BE PISSED!"

Jane: "Understatement ARO DO SOMETHING!"

Aro: "I DON'T CARE I PLAN ON LIVING WITH MY GOLDEN EYES!!"

Jacob: "KILL ME, KILL ME NOW!"

Jane: "MY PLEASURE.."

Caius: "JANE NOOO JAKEY CAKES!!"

**_Car: Tanya_**

Tanya: "I DRIVE ALL NIGHT TO CLAIM MY MAN AND FIND THE VOLTURI DOING THE SAME THING! NO WAY ARE THOSE OAP GETTING IN MY WAY. WHY ON EARTH IS JANE ATTACKING THE WOLF ON THE ROOF. STUPID OLD POWER TRIPPING WHORES. EDWARDS MINE. ALL MINE I SAY MWAHAHHAHAHAHAHA. I hear Blondie..."

**_Car: Charlie/Larry_**

Radio: ONE WAY OR ANOTHER I'M GONNA GET YOU IM GONNA GET YOU GET YOU GET YOU, ONE WAY....

Charlie: "I loooove this song"

Larry: "Me too baby! So what we doing?"

Charlie: "At the moment playing car conga."

Larry: "WAY HEY!"

Charlie/Larry: "ONE WAY OR ANOTHER..."

PLEASE CHECK OUT MY STORIES:

**LOVED BY A BEATING HEART** AND ITS _SEQUEL_ **RUNNING FROM FATE**

ALSO CHECK OUT MY NEWEST STORY **CHALLENGE ME?** ITS ABOUT PLAYBOY EDWARD MEETING HIS MATCH IN POPULAR RICH BITCH BELLA SWAN. ALL HUMAN! PLEASE READ!

**_OOOO WE'RE COMING TO THE END! NOOOOOOO! HAHAHA WELL I HAVE TWO IDEAS FOR A NEW FUNNY STORY! SOO I SHALL START ON THAT SOOON!! PLEASE RE-VIEW THIS! LETS GET OVER A 100 REVIEWS AND ILL POST THE NEXT CHAPTER! TONIGHT! OOO LOL!_**

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	17. DAWN SHOWDOWN!

**_THANK YOU TO ALL WHO HAVE REVIEWED, ADDED US TO UR FAVE LISTS AND ALERTS!_**

**_WE HAVE REACHED THE END!!_**

**_AWW *CRYS*_**

**_ALL BELONGS TO SM!_**

**_DON'T FORGET TO RE-VIEW_**

**_Chapter 17_**

**_06:30_**

Time: 06:30(DAWN)

Position: Cullen house, Forks

Team(s): Boys/Girls/Esme&Carlisle/Lauren&Mike/Volturi&&

Mission: WE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER... VAMPIRE'S IN THE HOUSE EVERYBODY.. RUN!!!!!

RECAP:

The Cullen boys played a trick on the Cullen girls and resulted in full on war. Involving waxes, tattoos, drink, jail, gay confessions, many outfit changes, hookers, dancing male cheerleaders, TV coverage, Italian threats, annoyed parents, drunk/gay Charlie, jealous lovers, stoners, takeaway restaurants, the munchies and many more events. The girls are currently winning by one point ahead of the boys. Their cars now depend on who wins the you-tube task! But they are currently in a tight predicament and are unable to check on who's wan. Now at the Cullen house the SHOWDOWN has started....

Carlisle: "We all shall discuss this in a calm manner. No fighting, swearing or use age of powers"

Jane: "Damn it"

Rose: "DONT YOU LOOK AT ME!"

Carlisle: "I SHALL START. Children please explain to us why this situation has occurred?"

Alice: "The boys played a prank on us and we played one on them and then we played many pranks and Edward became team Jacob"

Caius: "YOU THINK JAKEY-CAKES IS YOURS DO YA WHORE?"

Aro: "DONT TALK TO MY EDDIE LIKE THAT BROTHER!"

Tanya:"YOUR EDDIE HUH?"

Bella: "EXCUSE ME? LOOK AT THE FINGER AND WEEP. MY EDDIE!"

Aro, Tanya and Bella get into a heated fight. Aro's hair pulling, Tanya's bitch slapping and Bella's biting.

Carlisle: "ENOUGH!"

Caius: "IS ANYONE HERE TO ARGUE ABOUT JAKE-CAKES?"

Everyone looks blank and Jake is terrified.

Caius: "Good then we shall be on our way.."

Jane: "Way to where genius, you sold VOLTERRA TO THE HUMAN!"

Esme: "Bella owns Volterra?"

Bella: "YEA!! I SOLD JACOB FOR VOLTERRA!! NOW LETS PARTY!"

Emmett: "HELL YEAH!"

Emmett pulls out a bottle of vodka.

Charlie/Larry/Bella: "I LOVE YOU EMMETT!"

Aro: "Since when do vampires get drunk?"

Emmett: "SINCE NOW BITCHES!!"

Rose: "EMMETT!"

Mike: "I'm confused"

Lauren: "What I'm staring at that hunk of goodness *points to Alec*"

Caius: "HUMANS!! MUST STOP THE URGE TO BITE..*TWITCH TWITCH*"

Carlisle: "What we even here for?"

Tanya/Aro: "EDWARD!"

Larry/Charlie/Bella/Emmett: "VODKA!"

Edward: "Okay. I'll sort this. I love Bella!"

Charle: "YOU BASTARD! GO WITH HIM *POINTS AT ARO* HES HAWT"

Larry: "WHAT? YOU BITCH YOU THINK HES HAWT?!" *bitch slaps Charlie and runs out the house*

Emmett: "LARRY COME BACK BABY!" Emmett runs after Larry

Bella: "VODKA!" Bella runs after Emmett

Edward: "BELLA" Edward runs after Bella

Aro/Tanya: "EDWARD!" Both run after Edward.

Esme: "Okay, why is everyone else here?"

Mike:" They kidnapped me!"

Jane: "Duty calls"

Caius: "This ball of sexy fur"*strokes Jake*

Jake: "I SERIOUSLY have no choice"

Charlie: "Though it was fun to be part of the gang FOR ONCE!" *Charlie crys*

Jane: "I can just kill someone and get it over with... OMG ALEC!"

Alec and Lauren are in a tight embrace.

Alec: "CAN IT JANE, IM DONE BEING YOUR BITCH. I NEED LAURA"

Lauren: "Lauren!"

Alec: "WHATEVER"

Jasper: "I live here"

Alice: "I live here"

Rose: "I live here"

Carlisle: "I need therapy"

Then Emmett runs in all bloodied up screaming.

Emmett : " CUE: EPIC FIGHT!"

************************ 3 DAYS LATER*********************************

Charlie: "Man I have no HELLOVA hangover"

Aro: "That ain't a hangover"

Larry: "Check your pulse honey"

Charlie: "WTF? I DON'T HAVE ONE!"

Carlisle: "Thank Emmett, welcome to vampireism Charlie"

Charlie: "Larry?"

Larry: "DON'T YOU GO LOOKING AT ME LIKE I'M FOOD!"

Aro: "Don't you go looking at my snugglebums like hes food!"

Charlie: "YOUR snugglebums?"

Larry: "Sorry babe. Emmett and you just werent MAN enough. Aro satisfys me"

Carlisle: "Damn, I seriously need professional help"

Charlie: "What happened? Wheres Bella?"

Aro: "Lets check, hello VOLTERRA! " Bella, Edward, Emmett, Lauren, Alec and Jane appear on the TV/web-cam in the Cullen's front living room!

Charlie: "BELLA? what? huh?"

Bella: "It's Queen Bella of Volterra now!"

Jane: "Pfffft"

Bella: "SHUT UP SLAVE. MAKE ME FOOD NOW!"

Emmett: "Sorry about the dead thing Charlie, I kinda thought you were Larry"

Charlie: "How could you think I was Larry?"

Emmett: "WELL I DID CATCH YOU BOTH IN A COMPROMISING POSITION , I LUNGED AND BITE. SORRY"

Charlie: "Great."

Edward: "How's things back in Forks?"

Carlise: "Tanya is still dry crying in the garden, Rose and Alice are still trying to put Jasper together, Esme has decided we need a break and is in Las Vegas and Bella, Mike's funeral is in 3 days."

Everyone glares at Bella

Bella: "WHAT? I DIDN'T MEAN TO KILL HIM!!"

Lauren: "Yeah because running in the room with an axe screaming DIE NEWTON, is accidental"

Bella: "ALEC SHUT YOUR WIFE UP OR SHES OUT OF MY KINGDOM!"

Edward: "WE GOTTA GO, DUTY CALLS AND THAT!"

Bella: "It would be sooo cool if we had a Dracula style light that shone in the sky when were needed!"

Emmett: "We're not batman!"

Bella: "NOO WERE THE FANG MEN!

Edward: "You don't have fangs love"

Bella: "BITE ME! NO SERIOUSLY COME ON BIG GUY RIGHT HERE *POINTS TO NECK* BRING IT!"

Edward: "Bye bye Forks. Bella stop tormenting me, put your clothes back on, STOP THAT. Bellaaaaa..."

Emmett: "How's we knock this thing off? Bella, Edward get a room. USE PROTECTION! thank god vampires can't breed right?"

Jane: "PRESS THE GOD DAMN OFF BUTTON!"

The screen goes blank.

There we have it Bella now rules Volterra with Edward at her side, Emmett is court jester, lauren is happily married to Alec and Jane is well plotting a mutiny. Charlie is dead, Esme is Vegasing it, Carlisle is losing it, Aro and Larry are FINALLY happy with each other. Tanya is heart broken and Jasper is kind of everywhere. Wait JAKE AND CAIUS, damn almost finished with out their happy ever after......

Caius: "I think we should adopt, how about it Jakey Cakes?"

Jake: "KILL ME PLEASE."

Caius: "Maybe we should have an army of vampire children"

Jake: "WHY DID YOU PICK ME UP AND RUN FROM THE EPIC FIGHT!"

Caius: "Mmmm immortal children, heard they're a bitch to discipline. What should we call them? Something simple that screams deadly but datable, imagine our grandchildren"

Jake: "WHERE THE HELL ARE WE?!"

Caius: "Transylvania, I have family here. Wonder if we should of called, Drac shouldn't mind though."

Jake: "DRAC? AS IN?!

Caius: "Count Dracula Van helsing"

JakeL: "VAN HELSING? "

Caius: "Yee BIIG COVER UP. Van was married when they got it together so the faked this war of hatred but were secretly at it like fanged bunnies"

Jake: "OOO GAWD"

Caius: "HEY DRAC!! VAN!! GUESS WHO?!

There we have it. NO WAIT WHO WAN THE CULLEN WAR OF TASKS??

**Bella/Edward/Emmett in Volterra:**

**Rose/Jasper/Alice in Forks: **

**_Boys have 5378 hits_**

**_Girls have 5377 hits_**

Alice: "DAMN IT, JAZZ YOU WONT TAKE MY PORSCHE WOULD YOU?"

Jasper: "Well..."

Rose: "I WILL DISMANTLE YOU AGAIN IF YOU SO MUCH AS TOUCH MY CAR"

Jasper: "Jeez Rose, PMS much?"

Rose: "NO I'M DEAD"

Jasper: "OH yeah. Sorry."

Rose: "Apology accepted"

Emmett: "I'm having the cars shipped to Italy so, say goodbye!"

Edward: "Yeah we WANT THEM! since Jazzy here is bitch whipped"

Bella: "BITCH WHIPPED!"

Edward: "Love you lost."

Bella: "I don't care. I have you soo I wan a million times over"

Edward: "AWWWW" Bella makes a whipped gesture to the others.

Emmett: "I have an idea"

Bella: "What?"

Emmett: "CAMPING TRIP!......."

THERE THE BOYS WAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THAT'S WHERE WE END THIS STORY!

THANK U FOR ALL WHO REVIEWED AND PUT ME ON YOUR FAVE LISTS! LOOOOVE YOU.

I SHALL BE FOLOOWING THIS AS A SERIES OF **CULLEN VZ **STORIES

NEXT ONE WILL BE **CULLEN'S VZ THE BIG BAD CAMPING TRIP**! ADD ME TO AUTHOR ALERT!

CHECK OT MY **OTHER STORIES** PLEASE!!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

PLEASE STILL REVIEW THIS! I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!! I NEED TO KNOW!

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thank u for reading! hope you continue reading the stories to come!

much love Carlie and Tia Tasha!


	18. SEQUEL: MUST READ!

_**THE SEQUEL HAD BEEN PLANNED! **_

_**THE FIRST CHAPTER SHALL BE POSTED ASAP!**_

_**I SHALL DEDICATE EACH CHAPTER TO THE BEST REVIEWER(S) SO PLEASE REVIEW!**_

_**HUGE THANK YOU TO ALL WHO REVIEWED THE PREVIOUS CULLEN VZ STORY! AND THANK YOU FOR THOSE WHO ADDED IT TO YOUR FAVE LIST!**_

_**REALLY MAKE MY DAY!**_

**_SO AGAIN A BIG THANK YOU FROM ME(CARLIE) AND TIA TASHA,MY WICKED WRITTING PARTNER!!_**

_HERES A PREVIEW!!! FOR THE NEXT IN THE SERIES: _

CULLENZ VZ THE BIG BAD CAMPING TRIP

CHAPTER 1

THE NIGHT BEFORE

_RECAP: WHAT HAS HAPPEND TO THE CULLENZ/HALEZ/VOLTURI/TANYA/MIKE&LAUREN/JAKE SINCE WE LEFT THEM:_

_It's been a few months since the task night and things are pretty much back to normal, well Bella was over ruled by Jane, Alec and Lauren(who is now happily married and vamped but still hold a candle for Jasper) in Volterra, so now Edward, Emmett and Bella are back in Forks. Bella and Emmett both attend AA meetings to get over their problems, this seem to be having NO effect on their drunken lifestyle. Charlie is still a vampire but is taking an extended leave until he gains control over his new thirst, Bella is deeply upset but understands(the GIN helps). Esme and Carlisle have worked things out with many hours of professional help. Jasper, Rose and Alice are relatively unscathed. Aro had a nasty split up with Larry and is now back ruling Volterra. Larry is, actually I don't know what happened to him. Mike Newton died in a freak DIY accident to ALL police reports(of course vamp Charlie fakes these, he wasn't going to charge Bella with murder) and he is sadly missed(PFFT). Jacob returned from Transylvania with no memory, Edward knows he's lying about his memory loss and likes tormenting him about his time with Caius. Jake still remains good (secret)friends with Count Dracula and Van Helsing and they send eachother post cards. Tanya is back in Alaska under the safe eyes of her family, she is plotting revenge but getting nowhere. The town of Forks is untouched by these events. Cullen's still attend school as though nothing has happened, it is thought to be in every ones best interest that NOTHING is brought up._

Now back to the now. Emmett felt the need for a hoilday and suggesting they actually try camping. Carlisle agreed that it could be a good bonding exercise and they are set to leave for 7 days where they shall be one with nature. Oh no.

**_DAY: THE NIGHT BEFORE_**

**_FAMILY MEMBER(S): BELLA/EDWARD/EMMETT_**

**_PROBLEM: HUMAN OR ALCOHOL? DAMN HARD CHOICE._**

Edward: "Bella love, you need your sleep. What are you doing in the bathroom anyhow?"

Bella: "Nothing. *says quietly to her vodka bottle* I'm going to miss you baby, I promise I SHALL return, nasty Eddie won't hurt you"

Edward: "Who you talking too?"

Bella: "No one, your so paranoid Edward. *again to the vodka bottle*Mr.V run before he see's you and spills to down the drain, RUN I SAY RUN!"

Edward: "BELLA PUT THE BOTTLE DOWN AND GET TO BED"

Bella: "NOO RUN MR.V NOO! NEVER SHALL I PART WITH MY TRUE LOVE!"

Edward: "IM COMING IN"

Bella opens the door and makes a run for it with Mr.V in her arms, Edward shocked at her response is slow on the up take.

Bella: "EMMETT SAVE ME!"

Emmett: "Bella whats going on? MR.V?"

Edward: "This is getting out of hand! Emmett get away from Bella."

Emmett: "IM NOT PROTECTING BELLA! CAN I DRINK HER?"

Bella and Edward look at Emmett.

Emmett: "FINE LET ME RE PHASE. CAN I DRINK HER AND THEN SPONTANEOUSLY SING WITHOUT LOOKING STUPID?"

Edward: "Bella just go to sleep, we have a long week ahead of us. Mr.V will be safe with Emmett."

Emmett: "Yes, saaafe."

Bella: "Okay, goodnight I love you."

Edward: "I love you too."

Bella: "NOT YOU DIPSHIT, MR.V! You don't give me the pleasure he does, stupid moral vampire."

**WHAT DO YOU THINK? IDEAS ARE GOLD! AND I'D LOVE TO INCLUDE SOME!!! SO PLEASE IM ME AND TELL ME!!**

PLEASE CHECK OUT MY OTHER STORIES:

**LOVED BY A BEATING HEART** & ITS SEQUEL **RUNNING FROM FATE**

(Bella grows up with the Cullen's and has to deal with vampire life. Her feelings for Edward grown with age and ALOT of twist and turns pull them apart. The sequel is surprising! PLEASE R&R)

&

**CHALLENGE ME**

(Edwards a playboy and is misunderstood. Bella swan is equally a player and equally misunderstood. Each finds each other a challenge, will love win? M FOR A REASON! please R&R)

thank you :D


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